fucked up wonderland

The little girl just could not sleep, because her thoughts were way too deel. Her mind has gone out for a stroll and fallen in a deep dark hole.

First things first.

Well, first things first. 

I have no clue what i am doing at the moment, my head is running one way and my heart the opposite direction.

first of all, i have the disease of Dupuytren so i am kinda not able to work without pain and it is beginning to be bloody annoying..

secondly, my uncle has is terminal ill and i really can not deal with that and it feels like neither anyone of my family can.

and then at last, the ever so great cause of drama, my boyfriend. we constantly argue, and it is getting up to the point that i almost can not handle it anymore.


thank god for golf, at least something that can empty my mind.